Before exploring the attributes of Lilith in the 11th house, we should mention that the article is about Black Moon Lilith. Thus, we should distinguish this mathematical point of alignment from the asteroid Lilith, and also from Dark Moon Lilith, which is calculated in a different way.
Lilith is not a planet and is not a material object. It is the hypothetical point connected to the apogee of the Moon’s orbit, the farthest spot from Earth that the Moon can reach. The Moon is not orbiting Earth in a circle but in an ellipse, and thus this calculation shows the astrological degree in the signs where when the Moon transits is more distant from our planet.
Black Moon Lilith is a rather obscure point of an individual’s natal chart. This topographical extreme point of the Moon makes emotion and sentiments hit a low and show their cold side. The placement of this mathematical spot signifies quite a lot of doubtful or even negative behaviors. Under one’s Lilith can hide subconscious energies of malice and self-undoing, yet it would be wrong to consider her as something mostly negative.
Having Lilith in the 11th can complicate an individual’s group activities, making it uneasy to express when among a lot of people. It may be connected with disharmonic memories the person has from how he was treated in groups during his childhood. He might have felt malice, hate or jealousy from other kids at school, being the scapegoat, the alien, the rejected one. This subconsciously influences the way he perceives such types of experiences during his adult life. Also, there are possibilities that he was feeling ashamed during such occasions, which can in turn create a strong drive to take a symbolic revenge.
As the 11th house is the realm of Uranus and Aquarius, Lilith’s presence feeds the desire of being different and unique, which can even lead to provocative extremes. This can lead to becoming a member of weird subcultures, concerning one’s clothes, music and lifestyle. This style is definitely something absurd for the average people, which will see the native as awkward. Thus, alienation from the others is something which can frequently happen. Lilith in the 11th house is responsible for not being called to parties or other collective events. In extreme cases, it can even bring being hated by collectivities and groups. Of course, this triggers a similar reaction. Hating those groups back.
On the other hand, such a native will enjoy friendships that are based on one-to-one principles. There is high possibility that such a person’s friends have also their Lilith in the 11th house. Social outcasts and loners, which have experienced the same fears and traumas, tend to blend better with people of their own kin.
Lilith has a lot of seductive traits and characteristics, thus giving strong sexuality to the individual’s friendships. Such a placement can easily give “friends with benefits”, and a sexual atmosphere will be always present in the native’s friendships. Yet, if Lilith is ill-aspected, such relations can bring drama and disasters. Lilith can cause dark feelings such as jealousy or hate, and when adversely aspected indicates betrayals. An 11th house Lilith person will be suspicious and possessive about his friends. This gives the stereotype of hating other people that hang out with his friends, due to the fear of losing them or becoming less important for them. It is even more potent when sexual desire is present in the situation. This placement can make someone be in a love/hate relation with his friends, pathologically adoring them but at the same time blaming them for anything wrong that happens in the native’s life.
The 11th house is the realm of group sexual activity, and Lilith can trigger quite promiscuous patterns of behaviors to the native. Aquarian and Uranian energy is very open for experimentations, and such natives are more open for ménage a trois and swinging. If Lilith is in Scorpio, Capricorn or adversely affected by malefics, she can lead to dangerous games in the native’s love life. In such occasions the native should be very careful of dramatic emotional events that can happen between him and friends. It is very probable that at least one of the persons involved in this complicated situation will get hurt. When Lilith is adversely aspecting Pluto, Mars or Saturn, such a chart owner might even enjoy using and hurting people emotionally.
In case this happens, the individual should review his childhood to see whether he was emotionally hurt by friends in his early ages. Very frequently, he will discover that potential negative behaviors to people he is related to may be a subconscious revenge towards the archetype of “friend”. The scars which remain from that disappointment in his young age may make him use all his weapons to possess his friends, including sexuality. On a higher level, the chart owner may not be even really sexually attracted to his friends, and just using sex in order to hold a tight grip on them.
Lilith’s presence in the eleventh house can make someone a cunning schemer concerning organizations. He might sabotage social groups, spread malice between their members and cause a lot of discord. The native might feel happy when seeing groups of people fall apart. This will fulfill his dark pleasures, as he feels he teaches the other people a lesson about how it is to be left without a social group. Of course, such an unhealthy behavior is more frequently present to people who have hard aspects to their Lilith.
The best way of softening the difficult traits of Lilith is symbolically indulging in 11th house matters where the ego dissolves in a group gestalt, and is recomposed in a different way. If you have such an aspect, try to join any type of organization, and to behave well. Concentrate on promoting harmony between the members, and try to keep your darker traits away from your behavior. Of course, there are many techniques one can use to partially get rid of the difficult traits that Lilith gives. Nevertheless, all forms of communication within a group, and collective work are very good channels for letting our darkness flow away from us.